But He Can Always Speak

From here
on the sex toys
with the grains of the wood
and the stains of blood
and whiskey
from here is where I rise.

Splinters in the wood
and scratches all around
become the grain of life
and so we find a path
and pattern
in the most unlikeliest of places–
on this sexi shop.

There are lines that speak of order
even down so low as this
and it is God’s sweet grace
to open our eyes that we might see
the lines beneath the whiskey
and dirt
and blood.

Sex toys

Sex toys have been around in one form or another for hundreds of years but they are becoming more popular than ever in modern day society. Often referred to as marital aids, sex toys facilitate sexual pleasure for couples or for solo use. A recent study of the Temptations Direct website purchaser figures illustrates that the proportion of women and men buying sex toys is a fairly even split with 52% of women and 48% of men being consumers. If you are new to sex toys and want to try them out for the first time to heighten sexual satisfaction and spice up your bedroom activities but are unsure what sort of toy to buy this guide could help you to make a decision.

What type of sex toy is the best to start off with?

Which sex toy to start with is one of the first things to consider when thinking about the potential purchase of an adult toy? Sex toys come in many different guises: dildos, cock rings, anal sex toys, male and female sex pumps, sex dolls, strap ons and vibrators to name but a few. If you want to experience a penetrative sex toy for the first time it is a good idea to try something that has some degree of flexibility such as a jelly dildo. Non penetrative sex toys such as cock rings that are made of silicon or rubber have some give in them and can help to prolong an erection which is firmer and fuller that can lead to increased sexual satisfaction for both parties. These cock rings have far more flexibility than rigid metal cock rings, which cause considerable restriction to the wearer.

Size and cost matters

Other important factors to consider are size and cost. Start small and work up to bigger sex toys when you are more experienced. Mini vibrators deliver a fantastic orgasm but are small enough to be transported just about anywhere. You also do not want to spend a considerable amount on your first purchase if you are unsure whether you will enjoy the experience of a sex toy. Small vibrators start from as low as 4, jelly dildos are anything from 10 and cock rings retail from as little as 2 and therefore do not result in a considerable outgoing.

Use sexual lubricants

If you are a beginner to penetrative sex toys it is always advisable to use a sexual lubricant. This is especially important in the use of anal sex toys as neither the anus nor the rectum naturally produce their own lubrication so it is imperative that anal lubrication is used for more pleasurable and comfortable anal sex toy pursuits. Moreover, some anal gels and sprays are specifically designed to condition the tissues surrounding the anus and relax the anal muscles, therefore making penetration considerably easier. Anal finger stimulators are ideal for first timers to anal play as not only are they small and inexpensive but they are often made of soft silicone making penetration far more comfortable.

Sex toy cleaner

On purchasing your adult toy you should also contemplate buying a sex toy cleaner. Cheap to buy, this additional item should be utilised immediately after sex toy use to keep it clean. Safe, effective and ant-bacterial, sex toy cleaners help to prevent the spread of germs and bacteria and help to keep your sex toy last for longer.
For more information on the variety of sex toys available, visit the Temptations Direct website.

Amy Shepherd works in marketing for Venus Sales Ltd, a UK based online retailer of sex toys including dildos, rabbit sex toys and much more.

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How Can I Make My Girlfriend Want To Kiss Me

Your first kiss in a new relationship is an important milestone, whether you’ve had dozens of kisses before or have never kissed anyone at all. If you’re going for your first kiss in a new relationship, rushing your partner into it before she wants to can actually backfire on you. Here’s what to do if you’re ready – and she’s not.

    Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I recently got a girlfriend and I really want to kiss her, but she says she doesn’t want to kiss because  this is her first relationship and she doesn’t want to kiss until we are older. But I REALLY like her and I was wondering what I can do to make her want to kiss?

    –YouTube Viewer

Respect Her Boundaries

Whenever someone says “no” to something, you absolutely have to respect that. Regardless of whether they’re a guy or a girl or what stage your relationship is in, you simply can’t ignore someone if they’re telling you they’re uncomfortable doing something that you want them to do. This applies to kissing, as well as sex. If your partner isn’t ready to kiss you yet, you can’t try to push her past her boundaries. Instead, learn to respect these boundaries because if you were the one who wasn’t comfortable with something, you wouldn’t want her to pressure you about it.
Practice Patience

In any situation where your partner lets you know that they’re not ready to do something or aren’t comfortable with something, it’s important that you learn to practice patience. Having patience when your partner says “no” isn’t always easy, especially if she says “no” to something you want very badly, but it’s the right thing to do. Even if you’re convinced that kissing her will take your relationship to a new and exciting level and she’ll really like it once she tries it, if she’s not ready that’s it. It’s over. Try to fill your time with your partner with other fun things, like playing baseball together or hanging out with friends. If you find yourself tempted to kiss your partner often, plan things to do with her that don’t create quiet, awkward moments alone together. Avoid going to the movies where other people are making out and try to stay busy doing fun activities together so you don’t think so much about kissing her and instead you’re focusing on just being with her and having fun with her.
Could It Harm Your Relationship?

Pressuring your partner to kiss you before she is ready can actually do harm to your relationship. At first she will be annoyed, and then she will become frustrated with you and come to resent you for not respecting her wants and needs. Trying to talk her into doing something she’s made clear she’s uncomfortable with doesn’t win you any brownie points. Even if she gives in and gives you what you want in the end, chances are she’ll remember the hurt for a long time. This definitely has the potential to damage your relationship, so if you value what you have with your partner at all, you won’t pressure her to do something she’s just not ready for.